1 00:00:02,054 --> 00:00:04,188 The bathroom's just down the hallway. 2 00:00:04,257 --> 00:00:05,456 Take your second right, then two lefts, 3 00:00:05,525 --> 00:00:06,491 - just before the break room. - Okay. 4 00:00:06,559 --> 00:00:08,293 - Mm-hmm. - Thank you. 5 00:00:08,361 --> 00:00:09,627 If you're like me, then you know 6 00:00:09,696 --> 00:00:11,462 I have no idea where I'm going. 7 00:00:11,531 --> 00:00:14,299 My brain shuts down immediately when I hear directions. 8 00:00:14,367 --> 00:00:16,501 [inspirational music] 9 00:00:16,569 --> 00:00:18,136 When I get driving directions, 10 00:00:18,204 --> 00:00:19,737 I politely nod and smile, 11 00:00:19,806 --> 00:00:22,240 but as soon as I get to my phone, I just map it. 12 00:00:22,309 --> 00:00:24,742 And up until now, there's been no way to navigate 13 00:00:24,811 --> 00:00:26,511 inside an office. 14 00:00:26,579 --> 00:00:29,480 15 00:00:29,549 --> 00:00:31,215 Many times, I've left a meeting 16 00:00:31,284 --> 00:00:33,484 and had the embarrassment of looping back 17 00:00:33,553 --> 00:00:35,320 by the person I just left. 18 00:00:35,388 --> 00:00:37,488 I say things like, "I'm all turned around." 19 00:00:37,557 --> 00:00:39,991 But, in fact, I never had my bearings to begin with. 20 00:00:40,060 --> 00:00:41,392 [cell phone chimes] 21 00:00:41,461 --> 00:00:43,594 Finally, there's Navigation Extreme, 22 00:00:43,663 --> 00:00:45,430 with maps of all office buildings, 23 00:00:45,498 --> 00:00:48,733 municipal buildings, and homes. 24 00:00:48,802 --> 00:00:51,569 Navigating to bathroom. Proceed to highlighted route. 25 00:00:51,638 --> 00:00:54,505 With Navigation Extreme, now you can have that same thing 26 00:00:54,574 --> 00:00:56,107 for every building in the world. 27 00:00:56,176 --> 00:00:58,042 Approaching cubicles. 28 00:00:58,111 --> 00:01:01,045 - [cell phone chimes] - Destination ahead. 29 00:01:01,114 --> 00:01:03,114 You have arrived at the bathroom. 30 00:01:03,183 --> 00:01:04,916 Navigate to toilet? 31 00:01:04,984 --> 00:01:07,085 Thanks, Navigation Extreme. 32 00:01:09,122 --> 00:01:10,288 [dog barking in the distance] 33 00:01:10,357 --> 00:01:11,689 [cell phone chimes] 34 00:01:11,758 --> 00:01:13,458 And now the new Navigation Extreme 35 00:01:13,526 --> 00:01:15,693 will guide you for when you're figuratively lost. 36 00:01:15,762 --> 00:01:18,429 You have been idle for 3.5 weeks. 37 00:01:18,498 --> 00:01:20,498 Get job. 38 00:01:24,537 --> 00:01:26,471 You know what? You're hired. 39 00:01:26,539 --> 00:01:29,273 Shake hands with interviewer. 40 00:01:29,342 --> 00:01:31,776 Make eye contact with interviewer. 41 00:01:31,845 --> 00:01:37,014 42 00:01:39,452 --> 00:01:42,453 You may now leave the room. 43 00:01:45,492 --> 00:01:48,426 [Washed Out's "Feel It All Around" playing] 44 00:02:08,007 --> 00:02:12,548 Sync and corrections by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com 45 00:02:12,819 --> 00:02:15,119 I can't believe it. You're also not on Tinder. 46 00:02:15,188 --> 00:02:16,788 - Yeah. - It's the worst. 47 00:02:16,856 --> 00:02:18,423 - It's so dehumanizing. - It's dehumanizing. 48 00:02:18,491 --> 00:02:19,524 [chuckles] 49 00:02:19,592 --> 00:02:20,925 You knew I was going to say that. 50 00:02:20,994 --> 00:02:22,460 That was very funny. 51 00:02:22,529 --> 00:02:24,762 - I'll get this. - Oh, thank you. 52 00:02:24,831 --> 00:02:27,031 I don't know. Like, I guess that's it. 53 00:02:27,100 --> 00:02:28,800 - Oh, the night? - Yeah. 54 00:02:28,868 --> 00:02:32,937 Well, we could go back to my place. 55 00:02:33,006 --> 00:02:36,274 Uh, yeah, I'm definitely up for that if you are. 56 00:02:36,342 --> 00:02:38,142 I am up for it. 57 00:02:38,211 --> 00:02:39,444 [sighs] 58 00:02:39,512 --> 00:02:42,713 [dramatic music] 59 00:02:42,782 --> 00:02:44,115 No spots. 60 00:02:44,184 --> 00:02:45,883 All right, one more little round. 61 00:02:45,952 --> 00:02:47,685 62 00:02:47,754 --> 00:02:49,387 Mm... 63 00:02:49,456 --> 00:02:51,122 Please, please, please, please, please, please, please. 64 00:02:51,191 --> 00:02:52,657 How is there this much yellow? 65 00:02:52,725 --> 00:02:54,859 What do they need all these spots for? 66 00:02:54,928 --> 00:02:56,360 - Hey. - Hi. 67 00:02:56,429 --> 00:02:59,030 I just can't find a parking space anywhere. 68 00:02:59,098 --> 00:03:00,865 I didn't realize tomorrow's garbage day. 69 00:03:00,934 --> 00:03:02,867 I know. And they're towing cars at 6:00 AM. 70 00:03:02,936 --> 00:03:05,236 All right, well, if you get a spot, 71 00:03:05,305 --> 00:03:08,806 text me, and I'll come get you so you don't have to walk. 72 00:03:08,875 --> 00:03:11,976 Okay. Well, wait. What if you get a spot before I do? 73 00:03:12,045 --> 00:03:15,413 Well, then I'll text you, and you can have my spot. 74 00:03:15,482 --> 00:03:18,483 - Aw. You'd do that? - I'm a very nice guy. 75 00:03:18,551 --> 00:03:20,418 - You are. - Yes, I am. 76 00:03:20,487 --> 00:03:23,421 - I can't wait. - [groans] 77 00:03:23,490 --> 00:03:26,491 - Oh, I think I see a spot. - Oh, go, get it. 78 00:03:26,559 --> 00:03:30,495 - Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? - Yes. Fire hydrant again. 79 00:03:30,563 --> 00:03:32,597 The one time I want to go home with a guy. 80 00:03:32,665 --> 00:03:34,866 The one time I'm feeling a little crazy. 81 00:03:34,934 --> 00:03:36,501 She said, "Do you want to hang out? 82 00:03:36,569 --> 00:03:38,035 I want to spend more time to"-- and I can't park. 83 00:03:38,104 --> 00:03:39,270 Go somewhere. You go somewhere. 84 00:03:39,339 --> 00:03:41,372 May no one ever park there. 85 00:03:41,441 --> 00:03:45,076 - Come on! - Please, please! Oh, please! 86 00:03:45,144 --> 00:03:48,679 I'm finding a spot. I am grateful. God damn it! 87 00:03:48,748 --> 00:03:51,916 - This is insane. - Why? Why? Why? 88 00:03:51,985 --> 00:03:54,919 [dramatic music] 89 00:03:54,988 --> 00:04:01,993 90 00:04:09,269 --> 00:04:12,203 [rooster crowing] 91 00:04:12,272 --> 00:04:14,772 All right, I think we just have to face it. 92 00:04:14,841 --> 00:04:16,207 This... 93 00:04:16,276 --> 00:04:17,875 this isn't working out. 94 00:04:17,944 --> 00:04:20,912 Can you please just give me just one more chance? 95 00:04:20,980 --> 00:04:22,413 I can't, okay? 96 00:04:22,482 --> 00:04:24,949 My contact lens is fused to my iris. 97 00:04:25,018 --> 00:04:27,485 I think I have to call a doctor. 98 00:04:27,554 --> 00:04:30,321 - I'm a doctor. - Good-bye, Fred. 99 00:04:30,390 --> 00:04:33,324 - I'm gonna go to my mom's. - All right. 100 00:04:33,393 --> 00:04:34,892 Good-bye, Grace. 101 00:04:39,999 --> 00:04:42,466 No. What am I doing? 102 00:04:42,535 --> 00:04:44,735 I just-- I can't get a handle on this kind of dating. 103 00:04:44,804 --> 00:04:46,103 I-I don't think I'm meant for this. 104 00:04:46,172 --> 00:04:47,838 It does seem really overwhelming. 105 00:04:47,907 --> 00:04:50,107 Why would they choose me over all these other options? 106 00:04:50,176 --> 00:04:51,943 I-I think I'm just too sensitive. 107 00:04:52,011 --> 00:04:54,011 Well, what about the dinner date the other night? 108 00:04:54,080 --> 00:04:56,614 That didn't work out-- parking logistics. 109 00:04:56,683 --> 00:04:58,649 - Ah, I hate that. - Yeah. 110 00:04:58,718 --> 00:05:00,918 I just wish there was some way I could have something arranged, 111 00:05:00,987 --> 00:05:02,186 you know, where I can have, 112 00:05:02,255 --> 00:05:03,621 like, a guaranteed mate for life. 113 00:05:03,690 --> 00:05:04,922 We hear that all the time. 114 00:05:04,991 --> 00:05:06,257 And we actually are the number-one 115 00:05:06,326 --> 00:05:08,125 arranged-marriage service in Portland. 116 00:05:08,194 --> 00:05:09,627 - This is great. - Yeah. 117 00:05:09,696 --> 00:05:11,195 Well, I brought my mom, 'cause I thought-- 118 00:05:11,264 --> 00:05:12,430 I don't know how this works. 119 00:05:12,498 --> 00:05:14,031 Like, does she choose somebody or...? 120 00:05:14,100 --> 00:05:16,434 No, we at Amore, we act as your-- as your family, 121 00:05:16,502 --> 00:05:17,868 as your parents. 122 00:05:17,937 --> 00:05:19,870 We're the person who you confide in most 123 00:05:19,939 --> 00:05:22,873 your desires and wants. 124 00:05:22,942 --> 00:05:26,143 Uh, do you-- do you know Tom and Jennifer? 125 00:05:26,212 --> 00:05:27,945 No. 126 00:05:28,014 --> 00:05:29,780 They're happy together. Yeah. 127 00:05:29,849 --> 00:05:32,483 They walk by sometimes, and you can see them holding hands. 128 00:05:32,552 --> 00:05:36,153 Wow. Well, I'm really excited about this. 129 00:05:36,222 --> 00:05:39,724 - Uh, how tall are you? - 6'2 3/4". 130 00:05:39,792 --> 00:05:42,326 - 6'2 3/4". - No, Mom, I'm 5'8". 131 00:05:42,395 --> 00:05:46,163 But the pediatrician said that you'd be 6'2 3/4". 132 00:05:46,232 --> 00:05:47,898 No, but I never reached that height. 133 00:05:47,967 --> 00:05:49,233 - Okay. - It's my pediatrician. 134 00:05:49,302 --> 00:05:51,836 Currently my doctor, so... 135 00:05:51,904 --> 00:05:54,238 As an adult man, you see a pediatrician? 136 00:05:54,307 --> 00:05:56,140 Yes, but I call him doctor. I'm not like-- 137 00:05:56,209 --> 00:05:57,842 I'm a-- He knows I'm a grown man. 138 00:05:57,910 --> 00:05:59,510 - Yeah. - He's a doctor. 139 00:05:59,579 --> 00:06:01,679 - He's a child's doctor. - Yes. 140 00:06:01,748 --> 00:06:02,747 - Okay. - But... 141 00:06:02,815 --> 00:06:04,348 There's no judgment here. 142 00:06:04,417 --> 00:06:05,983 - Judge away if you want. - I mean, if I can... 143 00:06:06,052 --> 00:06:07,418 - You know? - A little bit, I will. 144 00:06:07,487 --> 00:06:09,086 I mean, I just want a mate. 145 00:06:09,155 --> 00:06:11,055 What is your favorite food? 146 00:06:11,124 --> 00:06:12,390 Spaghetti and meatballs. 147 00:06:12,458 --> 00:06:15,192 He loves spaghetti and meatballs. 148 00:06:15,261 --> 00:06:16,827 Mm-hmm. She makes the best. 149 00:06:16,896 --> 00:06:17,995 Oh, Mom's spaghetti and meatballs? 150 00:06:18,064 --> 00:06:19,163 Yes. 151 00:06:19,232 --> 00:06:20,631 She seems like a special lady, huh? 152 00:06:20,700 --> 00:06:22,500 She is very loving. 153 00:06:22,568 --> 00:06:24,769 And she also gives me my space. 154 00:06:24,837 --> 00:06:27,238 She's a caretaker. She challenges my intellect. 155 00:06:27,306 --> 00:06:29,173 - Yeah. - She's very cool. 156 00:06:29,242 --> 00:06:31,676 I-I feel uncool talking so highly about my mom, 157 00:06:31,744 --> 00:06:33,277 but it's just one of those relationships. 158 00:06:33,346 --> 00:06:34,745 That's really cool. It's cool to hear. 159 00:06:34,814 --> 00:06:36,447 You're very special, too, Freddie. 160 00:06:36,516 --> 00:06:38,449 Great, so you're 5'8", you like spaghetti. 161 00:06:38,518 --> 00:06:39,617 We're almost done. 162 00:06:39,686 --> 00:06:41,252 If this is it, I would like to know 163 00:06:41,320 --> 00:06:43,120 what the results are. 164 00:06:43,189 --> 00:06:44,889 Well, you're gonna get an email with a phone number on it. 165 00:06:44,957 --> 00:06:46,824 You call it, and that's your wife. 166 00:06:46,893 --> 00:06:47,892 [silly slide whistle] 167 00:06:49,017 --> 00:06:50,818 All right, big smile, give me a smile. 168 00:06:50,886 --> 00:06:53,320 [camera shutter clicks] 169 00:06:53,389 --> 00:06:55,522 Yeah, all right. 170 00:06:55,591 --> 00:06:56,924 [camera shutter clicks] 171 00:06:56,992 --> 00:06:58,659 [upbeat music] 172 00:06:58,728 --> 00:07:00,761 [laughs] 173 00:07:00,830 --> 00:07:02,463 174 00:07:02,531 --> 00:07:05,466 [ominous music] 175 00:07:05,534 --> 00:07:12,539 176 00:07:14,143 --> 00:07:17,077 [upbeat music playing from computer] 177 00:07:17,146 --> 00:07:20,614 178 00:07:20,683 --> 00:07:21,682 Beautiful. 179 00:07:21,751 --> 00:07:23,851 [indistinct chatter] 180 00:07:23,919 --> 00:07:26,253 - Beautiful. - [indistinct chatter] 181 00:07:26,322 --> 00:07:28,255 - Beautiful. - Peek-a-boo. 182 00:07:28,324 --> 00:07:30,958 Aw, beautiful. Beautiful. 183 00:07:31,026 --> 00:07:33,093 Beautiful. Beautiful. 184 00:07:33,162 --> 00:07:37,297 Bea-u-ti-ful. 185 00:07:37,366 --> 00:07:39,967 [laughing] 186 00:07:40,035 --> 00:07:44,071 "You look so nice today." 187 00:07:44,140 --> 00:07:46,039 [ominous electronic music] 188 00:07:46,108 --> 00:07:50,043 "Nice to see you!" 189 00:07:50,112 --> 00:07:51,945 190 00:07:52,014 --> 00:07:54,081 Nah. 191 00:07:54,150 --> 00:07:57,084 [ominous music] 192 00:07:57,153 --> 00:08:01,722 193 00:08:01,791 --> 00:08:02,956 Beautiful. 194 00:08:03,025 --> 00:08:05,959 [upbeat music] 195 00:08:06,028 --> 00:08:07,728 196 00:08:07,797 --> 00:08:10,164 Arrived. Fred is near. 197 00:08:10,232 --> 00:08:12,766 Fred is near. Fred is near. 198 00:08:12,835 --> 00:08:16,503 Excuse me. I think I have the wrong address. 199 00:08:16,572 --> 00:08:18,639 I'm looking for Fred. 200 00:08:18,707 --> 00:08:22,075 [spitting] 201 00:08:22,144 --> 00:08:24,111 - Fred is near. - Okay. 202 00:08:24,180 --> 00:08:26,613 - Fred is near. - Hey, Carrie. 203 00:08:26,682 --> 00:08:27,848 - Oh, hey. - Hey, you found it. 204 00:08:27,917 --> 00:08:29,450 Yeah. I thought I had the wrong place. 205 00:08:29,518 --> 00:08:31,585 No, this is it This is where I'm at. 206 00:08:31,654 --> 00:08:33,754 - I see you met Giuseppina. - Yeah. 207 00:08:33,823 --> 00:08:35,289 - That's her. - Wow. 208 00:08:35,357 --> 00:08:36,757 Uh, Fredo, why you come outside? 209 00:08:36,826 --> 00:08:38,459 I make-a the meatballs inside. 210 00:08:38,527 --> 00:08:40,527 Uh, look who's here. This is my friend Carrie. 211 00:08:40,596 --> 00:08:43,096 - Hey. - [speaking foreign language] 212 00:08:43,165 --> 00:08:44,998 She sweeps all the time. Like, uh... 213 00:08:45,067 --> 00:08:46,934 - It's a clean porch, yeah. - It's always clean, yeah. 214 00:08:47,002 --> 00:08:49,002 - You look really good. - I am so happy. 215 00:08:49,071 --> 00:08:51,004 This company did a great job. 216 00:08:51,073 --> 00:08:53,207 This whole arranged-marriage thing, perfect. 217 00:08:53,275 --> 00:08:54,541 - We spend every second together. - What did you do-- 218 00:08:54,610 --> 00:08:55,709 like, list your favorite cheeses 219 00:08:55,778 --> 00:08:57,044 and you were like, "Parmesan," or...? 220 00:08:57,112 --> 00:08:58,278 No, because I did my usual thing. 221 00:08:58,347 --> 00:08:59,513 - Uh-huh. - I was like, "Hey, 222 00:08:59,582 --> 00:09:00,647 I like this. I like music and stuff." 223 00:09:00,716 --> 00:09:02,015 Did you, like, arrive on a Vespa? 224 00:09:02,084 --> 00:09:03,450 Like, I just don't know how this happened. 225 00:09:03,519 --> 00:09:05,652 It's all them. I'm just myself... 226 00:09:05,721 --> 00:09:07,387 - Yeah. Great. Well... - ...and they just, you know-- 227 00:09:07,456 --> 00:09:09,656 - Giuseppina's in my life, and... - Yeah. 228 00:09:09,725 --> 00:09:11,458 Look how she watches over me. 229 00:09:11,527 --> 00:09:13,560 - I know, it's very-- - I've never felt so protected. 230 00:09:13,629 --> 00:09:14,628 What do you guys talk about? 231 00:09:14,697 --> 00:09:16,063 - Whatever. - Mm-hmm. 232 00:09:16,131 --> 00:09:17,231 Movies, TV, music, all that stuff, you know. 233 00:09:17,299 --> 00:09:18,665 - Yeah. - She doesn't understand 234 00:09:18,734 --> 00:09:20,367 everything I say, usually, 235 00:09:20,436 --> 00:09:22,970 and, um-- so she'll sort of look up at God a lot. 236 00:09:23,038 --> 00:09:24,838 Mm-hmm. How's the sex? 237 00:09:24,907 --> 00:09:27,040 It's good. It's-- you know, she has, like, a single bed. 238 00:09:27,109 --> 00:09:28,876 - It's, like, low to the floor. - Mm-hmm. 239 00:09:28,944 --> 00:09:30,644 And the floor is very hard, so are those metal coils. 240 00:09:30,713 --> 00:09:32,346 - Uh-huh. - And then, um, 241 00:09:32,414 --> 00:09:35,582 a lot of paintings of, like, Jesus and Mary and the hearts. 242 00:09:35,651 --> 00:09:36,583 - Oh. - Yeah. 243 00:09:36,652 --> 00:09:38,752 Fredo, Fredo, come inside. 244 00:09:38,821 --> 00:09:39,820 - Nice to see you. - I'll see you real soon. 245 00:09:39,889 --> 00:09:41,255 Giuseppina, I'm sorry. 246 00:09:41,323 --> 00:09:42,623 Uh, let's do something tomorrow. 247 00:09:42,691 --> 00:09:45,025 - Okay. - [spits] 248 00:09:45,094 --> 00:09:46,660 Wow. 249 00:09:46,729 --> 00:09:48,428 - Why are we outside? - You're my fianc?e. 250 00:09:48,497 --> 00:09:50,163 I just wanted to take you out on a date 251 00:09:50,232 --> 00:09:51,398 after church, you know? 252 00:09:51,467 --> 00:09:55,035 Nice thing to do. 253 00:09:55,104 --> 00:09:58,338 - You want a different flavor? - This is not a gelato. 254 00:09:58,407 --> 00:10:00,407 Here are some movies. 255 00:10:00,476 --> 00:10:02,009 That one's more for, like, little kids, 256 00:10:02,077 --> 00:10:03,911 which actually might be nice fro a date. 257 00:10:03,979 --> 00:10:08,215 I like-a the old movies! Where's the Giancarlo Rudolfo? 258 00:10:08,284 --> 00:10:10,784 Giovanni Gentile? Giovanni Gentile? 259 00:10:10,853 --> 00:10:12,452 Giovanni Gentile? 260 00:10:12,521 --> 00:10:15,222 Tonight I'm not gonna be selfish, all right? 261 00:10:15,291 --> 00:10:16,957 I love you. Let's do whatever you want to do. 262 00:10:17,026 --> 00:10:19,760 Do you want to go home? Is that what it is? 263 00:10:19,828 --> 00:10:22,296 [exhales deeply] 264 00:10:22,364 --> 00:10:24,464 So what do you want to do? Do you want to go to bed or...? 265 00:10:24,533 --> 00:10:27,935 Here we go. 266 00:10:28,003 --> 00:10:29,703 [traditional Italian music playing] 267 00:10:29,772 --> 00:10:33,640 Oh. This is what you like? 268 00:10:33,709 --> 00:10:36,743 Mm, ah? 269 00:10:36,812 --> 00:10:38,412 Oh, this is you. 270 00:10:38,480 --> 00:10:40,380 - Hey! - [chuckles] 271 00:10:40,449 --> 00:10:41,615 I like this. 272 00:10:41,684 --> 00:10:43,817 273 00:10:43,886 --> 00:10:45,752 Look how happy you are. 274 00:10:45,821 --> 00:10:50,591 275 00:10:50,659 --> 00:10:53,594 [church bell tolling] 276 00:10:53,662 --> 00:10:56,096 277 00:10:56,165 --> 00:10:58,665 I'm-a so happy. 278 00:10:58,734 --> 00:11:02,903 279 00:11:02,972 --> 00:11:04,338 [sniffs] 280 00:11:04,406 --> 00:11:08,675 281 00:11:08,744 --> 00:11:09,743 [spits] 282 00:11:12,126 --> 00:11:13,826 - Hello. - Hi. 283 00:11:13,895 --> 00:11:15,228 Hi, uh, could we get two tickets, please? 284 00:11:15,296 --> 00:11:16,462 Sure, that's $30 apiece. 285 00:11:16,531 --> 00:11:18,097 - Uh, that seems like a lot. - Yeah. 286 00:11:18,166 --> 00:11:19,932 Should we just-- should we just see something at home? 287 00:11:20,001 --> 00:11:22,669 - It's not a bad idea, yeah. - It's a luxury theater. 288 00:11:22,737 --> 00:11:23,836 - Oh. - We specialize 289 00:11:23,905 --> 00:11:25,271 in the exotically familiar. 290 00:11:25,340 --> 00:11:26,506 What does that mean exactly? 291 00:11:26,574 --> 00:11:27,807 It's new, but the same. 292 00:11:27,876 --> 00:11:29,142 It's better than a home experience. 293 00:11:29,210 --> 00:11:30,810 - Uh-huh. - Uh... 294 00:11:30,879 --> 00:11:34,480 Do you want to try it? Yeah? Okay. 295 00:11:34,549 --> 00:11:38,117 Hi. Welcome to the home movie theater. 296 00:11:38,186 --> 00:11:40,019 - I am Wayne. - And I'm Ursula. 297 00:11:40,088 --> 00:11:42,822 The first thing we're gonna do is go over some of the amenities 298 00:11:42,891 --> 00:11:45,091 of the home movie theater experience. 299 00:11:45,160 --> 00:11:47,260 That's right. So let's talk a little bit about the screen. 300 00:11:47,328 --> 00:11:48,928 You'll notice it's smaller than usual. 301 00:11:48,997 --> 00:11:51,764 We've dialed it in at the perfect 36 inches, 302 00:11:51,833 --> 00:11:53,466 If you'll look at the side tables, 303 00:11:53,535 --> 00:11:55,668 we've got something for you called a cinema wand. 304 00:11:55,737 --> 00:11:57,003 Ooh. 305 00:11:57,072 --> 00:11:58,805 Please reach for your cinema wands. 306 00:11:58,873 --> 00:12:01,340 Now, with the cinema wand, you can make the decibels 307 00:12:01,409 --> 00:12:03,643 of the film go up or come down. 308 00:12:03,712 --> 00:12:05,611 All of your cinema wands work, 309 00:12:05,680 --> 00:12:07,280 so they'll be working against each other. 310 00:12:07,348 --> 00:12:08,281 [laser fire] 311 00:12:08,349 --> 00:12:10,116 This is just a regular movie. 312 00:12:10,185 --> 00:12:12,618 It's gonna be boring. That's why we have iPads for you. 313 00:12:12,687 --> 00:12:14,887 So we got some iPads here for an extra fee. 314 00:12:14,956 --> 00:12:17,523 As soon as you start using them, we're gonna start charging you. 315 00:12:17,592 --> 00:12:20,393 And just-- as you're watching, just sort of lean like this. 316 00:12:20,462 --> 00:12:21,994 Just keep it on the couch 317 00:12:22,063 --> 00:12:24,430 and kind of pretend to watch a little bit. 318 00:12:24,499 --> 00:12:26,399 But then look down. Look at the news. 319 00:12:26,468 --> 00:12:28,034 - You could talk to each other. - Yeah. 320 00:12:28,103 --> 00:12:29,702 We've also got, uh, wonderful, delicious 321 00:12:29,771 --> 00:12:32,238 Tillamook ice cream here, right over there in the freezer. 322 00:12:32,307 --> 00:12:35,308 And every container is almost fully eaten. 323 00:12:35,376 --> 00:12:36,909 We know no one wants to be that guy 324 00:12:36,978 --> 00:12:38,644 that eats right down to the last bite, 325 00:12:38,713 --> 00:12:40,580 but turns out, everyone was that guy. 326 00:12:40,648 --> 00:12:43,316 So go ahead and get in there and also be that guy. 327 00:12:43,384 --> 00:12:45,151 - Wonderful. - Now, you're not gonna miss 328 00:12:45,220 --> 00:12:48,321 a second of this film 'cause the toilet is right there. 329 00:12:48,389 --> 00:12:50,556 and you can sit on it, leave the door open, 330 00:12:50,625 --> 00:12:51,758 and keep watching the movie. 331 00:12:51,826 --> 00:12:53,726 You can also walk around. 332 00:12:53,795 --> 00:12:55,661 We've got all kinds of thing-- reading material. 333 00:12:55,730 --> 00:12:57,830 Got some mail over here, if you want to go through it. 334 00:12:57,899 --> 00:13:00,199 Yeah. So tonight what we are showing 335 00:13:00,268 --> 00:13:03,202 is the second half of "Ferris Bueller's Day Off." 336 00:13:03,271 --> 00:13:04,771 It's been a long time since any of you have seen 337 00:13:04,839 --> 00:13:06,372 the movie since the beginning, 338 00:13:06,441 --> 00:13:08,407 and that's the way it's going to remain. 339 00:13:08,476 --> 00:13:10,576 And there we go. Let's keep the lights on. 340 00:13:10,645 --> 00:13:11,744 - Whoo. - All right. 341 00:13:11,813 --> 00:13:13,179 Enjoy your show. 342 00:13:13,248 --> 00:13:15,126 Movies the way they were meant to be shown. 343 00:13:17,986 --> 00:13:21,420 [cheers and applause] 344 00:13:21,489 --> 00:13:23,589 Now, that was a great day off. 345 00:13:23,658 --> 00:13:26,626 [camera shutter clicks] 346 00:13:26,694 --> 00:13:28,261 Beautiful. 347 00:13:28,329 --> 00:13:31,264 [upbeat music] 348 00:13:31,332 --> 00:13:32,365 349 00:13:32,433 --> 00:13:34,534 [people clamoring] 350 00:13:34,602 --> 00:13:37,970 Quiet, please. Take your seats. 351 00:13:38,039 --> 00:13:39,372 I hear you. Trust me. 352 00:13:39,440 --> 00:13:41,207 I've listened to your voice mails. 353 00:13:41,276 --> 00:13:43,876 I have read your emails. I know your concerns. 354 00:13:43,945 --> 00:13:45,645 We're here tonight to figure out 355 00:13:45,713 --> 00:13:47,647 how to best address these issues. 356 00:13:47,715 --> 00:13:49,448 W-we can't wait around 357 00:13:49,517 --> 00:13:51,818 while you figure out how to "best address these issues." 358 00:13:51,886 --> 00:13:53,486 This is an emergency. 359 00:13:53,555 --> 00:13:55,955 For God's sake, woman, our children have no grit. 360 00:13:56,024 --> 00:13:57,623 My child is soft. 361 00:13:57,692 --> 00:13:59,392 Can't even watch a TV commercial without tearing up. 362 00:13:59,460 --> 00:14:01,894 I'm sorry, and I have read the article 363 00:14:01,963 --> 00:14:03,396 about the importance of grit. 364 00:14:03,464 --> 00:14:05,364 Then you should know that when children are raised 365 00:14:05,433 --> 00:14:07,400 with too much support and self-esteem, 366 00:14:07,468 --> 00:14:09,101 they're sometimes unable to deal 367 00:14:09,170 --> 00:14:10,770 with the harsh realities of life, 368 00:14:10,839 --> 00:14:13,005 causing them to fail in adulthood. 369 00:14:13,074 --> 00:14:15,308 Some of the faculty and I have been talking 370 00:14:15,376 --> 00:14:16,776 about rectifying the situation. 371 00:14:16,845 --> 00:14:19,579 I would like to present to you... 372 00:14:19,647 --> 00:14:22,515 - Operation Safe Bully. - [parents oh] 373 00:14:22,584 --> 00:14:26,452 This brings it back to what we believe in. 374 00:14:26,521 --> 00:14:31,691 God, guns, grades, grads, and grit. 375 00:14:31,759 --> 00:14:33,259 all: Yeah. 376 00:14:33,328 --> 00:14:35,127 I like that. 377 00:14:35,196 --> 00:14:37,430 Hi, Bob. Morning. 378 00:14:37,498 --> 00:14:39,098 Morning, students. 379 00:14:39,167 --> 00:14:41,868 I just wanted to introduce you to a new schoolmate. 380 00:14:41,936 --> 00:14:45,338 - This is Chip Pinsky. - Hi, everybody. 381 00:14:45,406 --> 00:14:47,139 Now, you'll probably see Chip in the hallways, 382 00:14:47,208 --> 00:14:49,108 and I just want to assure you that your parents 383 00:14:49,177 --> 00:14:51,143 and teachers know that he is here. 384 00:14:51,212 --> 00:14:54,046 Have a wonderful day. 385 00:14:54,115 --> 00:14:56,182 Watch your step! 386 00:14:56,251 --> 00:14:58,451 [laughs menacingly] 387 00:14:58,519 --> 00:15:01,187 [school bell ringing] 388 00:15:01,256 --> 00:15:03,522 Look who it is. [chuckles menacingly] 389 00:15:03,591 --> 00:15:05,625 Where you going? Oh, think fast! 390 00:15:05,693 --> 00:15:08,060 - [chuckles] - Oh, my gosh. 391 00:15:08,129 --> 00:15:10,196 What was-- what happened? What-- what's his name? 392 00:15:10,265 --> 00:15:11,397 - Schuler. - Schuler. 393 00:15:11,466 --> 00:15:12,465 Will you please get the school nurse? 394 00:15:12,533 --> 00:15:13,699 - Uh-huh. - Schuler. 395 00:15:13,768 --> 00:15:15,301 Schuler, can you hear me, buddy? 396 00:15:15,370 --> 00:15:18,070 Did you pass out? You okay there? 397 00:15:18,139 --> 00:15:19,305 Okay, just breathe. 398 00:15:19,374 --> 00:15:21,507 What are you looking at? 399 00:15:21,576 --> 00:15:23,376 All right, just-- just stay there. 400 00:15:23,444 --> 00:15:25,845 Hey, you're lucky! 401 00:15:25,914 --> 00:15:28,714 [toilet flushes] 402 00:15:28,783 --> 00:15:31,350 Fork over your lunch money, four eyes. 403 00:15:31,419 --> 00:15:32,652 I don't have any. I already ate. 404 00:15:32,720 --> 00:15:34,921 What about you, four eyes? 405 00:15:34,989 --> 00:15:36,656 What am I gonna eat? 406 00:15:36,724 --> 00:15:38,357 - You gonna be hungry? - Yes. 407 00:15:38,426 --> 00:15:40,326 All right. 408 00:15:40,395 --> 00:15:44,230 You like peanut butter and wheat bread? 409 00:15:44,299 --> 00:15:45,831 Are you allergic to wheat? 410 00:15:45,900 --> 00:15:48,601 - And you want some milk? - Sure. 411 00:15:48,670 --> 00:15:51,070 There you go. [chuckles] 412 00:15:51,139 --> 00:15:53,172 - Thanks for the lunch money. - You okay, Aiden? 413 00:15:53,241 --> 00:15:55,007 You want me to go get Miss Bell? 414 00:15:55,076 --> 00:15:57,109 No. I think I'll be okay. 415 00:15:57,178 --> 00:16:00,880 I'll-- I'll be okay. 416 00:16:00,949 --> 00:16:02,081 [rock music] 417 00:16:02,150 --> 00:16:04,884 Dropped your books. 418 00:16:04,953 --> 00:16:08,421 - Hey, jerk! - Jerk? 419 00:16:08,489 --> 00:16:09,889 - Uh... - Somebody called me a jerk. 420 00:16:09,958 --> 00:16:12,258 I guess somebody wants to get shoved. 421 00:16:12,327 --> 00:16:14,894 No, no, no, please don't. I-I'd really rather not. 422 00:16:14,963 --> 00:16:17,563 It's not as bad as you think. Here, hang out there. 423 00:16:17,632 --> 00:16:20,900 So the easiest way to get shoved is, there's-- 424 00:16:20,969 --> 00:16:24,103 this is-- this is padding, so it takes the impact of it. 425 00:16:24,172 --> 00:16:25,938 And the best way to do it is just hold on to my wrist. 426 00:16:26,007 --> 00:16:27,139 - Okay. - So, if you-- 427 00:16:27,208 --> 00:16:28,708 Hit the impact with the other hand, 428 00:16:28,776 --> 00:16:30,376 and it sounds louder than it really is, all right? 429 00:16:30,445 --> 00:16:32,578 So just go ahead and fall down. 430 00:16:32,647 --> 00:16:34,814 There you go. Yeah! 431 00:16:34,882 --> 00:16:37,049 See that? Who's next? 432 00:16:37,118 --> 00:16:39,251 Hey, you got some books to read down there. 433 00:16:39,320 --> 00:16:41,087 [chuckles] 434 00:16:41,155 --> 00:16:42,288 You okay? 435 00:16:44,993 --> 00:16:47,660 You know, I-I-I think I am. 436 00:16:47,729 --> 00:16:51,263 [Chip chuckles goofily] That's a stupid sandwich. 437 00:16:51,332 --> 00:16:54,000 Carrots? Ha ha. What's that? An apple? 438 00:16:54,068 --> 00:16:55,768 Well, your face looks like an apple. 439 00:16:55,837 --> 00:16:57,803 Chip! We need to talk. 440 00:16:57,872 --> 00:17:00,339 You've only been here three days, and no one likes you. 441 00:17:00,408 --> 00:17:01,774 And you're just a big bully. 442 00:17:01,843 --> 00:17:03,409 And you're not even good at that. 443 00:17:03,478 --> 00:17:05,444 all: Yeah! 444 00:17:05,513 --> 00:17:07,813 And you know what? I'm gonna tell Mr. Crandall 445 00:17:07,882 --> 00:17:10,016 that you made Stella cry yesterday in the gym. 446 00:17:10,084 --> 00:17:11,517 all: Yeah! 447 00:17:11,586 --> 00:17:12,752 And you know what they're gonna do after that? 448 00:17:12,820 --> 00:17:14,487 - What? - They're gonna call 449 00:17:14,555 --> 00:17:16,322 your parents, and they're gonna put you on medication. 450 00:17:16,391 --> 00:17:18,958 all: - Yeah! - Yeah, on medication! 451 00:17:19,027 --> 00:17:22,094 all: Get him out! Get him out! 452 00:17:22,163 --> 00:17:25,031 Get him out! Get him out! 453 00:17:25,099 --> 00:17:28,267 Well, whatever that plan was, it needs to end now. 454 00:17:28,336 --> 00:17:30,269 I mean, my daughter won't wear her bicycle helmet, 455 00:17:30,338 --> 00:17:31,971 and she keeps talking about taking something 456 00:17:32,040 --> 00:17:33,773 called Krav Maga. 457 00:17:33,841 --> 00:17:35,875 I told my son he needed to start thinking 458 00:17:35,943 --> 00:17:37,676 about what his college major will be, 459 00:17:37,745 --> 00:17:40,312 and he got me in a headlock and tried to give me a swirly. 460 00:17:40,381 --> 00:17:41,781 You have to do something right away. 461 00:17:41,849 --> 00:17:43,482 - Now they're too gritty. - I agree. 462 00:17:43,551 --> 00:17:45,651 With that in mind... 463 00:17:45,720 --> 00:17:49,355 Operation Refragilization. 464 00:17:49,424 --> 00:17:51,724 The plan is two words-- musical theater. 465 00:17:51,793 --> 00:17:53,559 From grit to "Grease." 466 00:17:53,628 --> 00:17:55,161 We're holding auditions on Friday. 467 00:17:55,229 --> 00:17:56,729 Oh, yay! Fabulous. 468 00:17:59,102 --> 00:18:02,999 Giuseppina, I made meat-balls for us, 469 00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:04,232 exactly like you like it-- 470 00:18:04,301 --> 00:18:05,734 a little red pepper in there. 471 00:18:05,803 --> 00:18:07,269 Fred... 472 00:18:07,338 --> 00:18:09,504 I have to break it off. 473 00:18:09,573 --> 00:18:12,541 I'm sorry. 474 00:18:12,609 --> 00:18:14,743 I-- You're breaking up with me? 475 00:18:14,812 --> 00:18:17,012 I don't understand. I got baptized for you. 476 00:18:17,081 --> 00:18:19,448 I go back to the old country. 477 00:18:19,516 --> 00:18:23,285 This was a summer fling. 478 00:18:23,354 --> 00:18:26,188 A summer fling? That's what I am to you? 479 00:18:26,256 --> 00:18:28,390 I just-- You really seemed happy. 480 00:18:28,459 --> 00:18:29,791 You were dancing and everything. 481 00:18:29,860 --> 00:18:32,094 I was happy, happy for you. 482 00:18:32,162 --> 00:18:34,096 You were born again, 483 00:18:34,164 --> 00:18:36,465 in the light of Christ-a. 484 00:18:36,533 --> 00:18:39,401 Oh, I know. 485 00:18:39,470 --> 00:18:42,904 You're breaking-a my heart. I make-a the meatball. 486 00:18:42,973 --> 00:18:45,307 [whimpering] It's beautiful. It's-- 487 00:18:45,376 --> 00:18:48,477 [smooches] 488 00:18:48,545 --> 00:18:49,711 Giuseppina... 489 00:18:49,780 --> 00:18:52,714 [somber music] 490 00:18:52,783 --> 00:18:57,786 491 00:18:57,855 --> 00:18:59,421 I leave-a tomorrow. 492 00:18:59,490 --> 00:19:02,090 Wait a minute. This is-- 493 00:19:02,159 --> 00:19:03,625 this is your house. 494 00:19:03,694 --> 00:19:05,193 So how are you going back to the old country? 495 00:19:05,262 --> 00:19:08,263 This-- No, this, uh, Airbnb. 496 00:19:08,332 --> 00:19:11,767 Uh, we have to be out by 9:00 AM tomorrow morning-a. 497 00:19:11,835 --> 00:19:14,336 - 9:00 in the morning? - Yes, yes. 498 00:19:14,405 --> 00:19:16,671 Giuseppina, I-I moved all my stuff in. 499 00:19:16,740 --> 00:19:19,141 - It's European, uh... - Oh? 500 00:19:19,209 --> 00:19:22,444 Go with life, and I knew at the end of summer-a, 501 00:19:22,513 --> 00:19:25,580 the Airbnb property would be done. 502 00:19:25,649 --> 00:19:28,316 Well, this isn't Europe, and we have to plan. I-I-- 503 00:19:28,385 --> 00:19:30,952 That's why I'm old country. 504 00:19:31,021 --> 00:19:33,455 It's beautiful, but it cannot last. 505 00:19:33,524 --> 00:19:34,689 I still have to move out. 506 00:19:34,758 --> 00:19:36,158 I mean, I have all my stuff here. 507 00:19:36,226 --> 00:19:40,195 This is not my problem-a. 508 00:19:40,264 --> 00:19:41,930 I'm sorry about your breakup. 509 00:19:41,999 --> 00:19:43,632 I mean, I guess I shouldn't have been so presumptuous 510 00:19:43,700 --> 00:19:44,733 about it all, you know? 511 00:19:44,802 --> 00:19:46,334 I feel like you should... 512 00:19:46,403 --> 00:19:48,370 be happy that it ended, in some ways. 513 00:19:48,439 --> 00:19:49,971 I-- How do you mean? 514 00:19:50,040 --> 00:19:52,307 I just mean you can't be in a relationship 515 00:19:52,376 --> 00:19:54,009 with someone who doesn't feel the same way. 516 00:19:54,078 --> 00:19:56,511 I-I guess that might be true. 517 00:19:56,580 --> 00:19:59,114 - Your friend's right, you know? - I'm sorry? 518 00:19:59,183 --> 00:20:02,184 I don't mean to eavesdrop, but your friend is right. 519 00:20:02,252 --> 00:20:04,619 You can't derive happiness from other people. 520 00:20:04,688 --> 00:20:06,555 It has to come from in here. 521 00:20:06,623 --> 00:20:08,323 Yeah, but look at that couple over there. 522 00:20:08,392 --> 00:20:10,826 Look how happy they are. They're just perfectly matched. 523 00:20:10,894 --> 00:20:13,995 Fred, don't force it. When it comes, it'll come. 524 00:20:14,064 --> 00:20:16,198 But in the moment, it felt exactly right. 525 00:20:16,266 --> 00:20:17,532 That was then. 526 00:20:17,634 --> 00:20:19,334 And she can't take that away from you. 527 00:20:19,403 --> 00:20:21,303 Love isn't planned. You can't-- you can't conquer it. 528 00:20:21,371 --> 00:20:23,505 But one of these days, 529 00:20:23,574 --> 00:20:25,574 the right person will come into your life. 530 00:20:25,642 --> 00:20:27,175 Because of her, you play the mandolin now. 531 00:20:27,244 --> 00:20:28,343 That's actually true. 532 00:20:28,412 --> 00:20:29,544 I never would have done it otherwise. 533 00:20:29,613 --> 00:20:31,346 [playing mandolin] 534 00:20:31,415 --> 00:20:33,582 Nice. Nice. 535 00:20:33,650 --> 00:20:35,050 Scusa. 536 00:20:35,119 --> 00:20:37,686 Uh, you play very nice, uh, Italian music. 537 00:20:37,754 --> 00:20:39,187 Oh, thank you very much. 538 00:20:39,256 --> 00:20:41,056 - We are from Italy, yeah. - No way. 539 00:20:41,125 --> 00:20:42,757 Si, si, si, si. 540 00:20:42,826 --> 00:20:44,526 And do you know, mm, 541 00:20:44,595 --> 00:20:46,561 "Tarantella Napoletana"? 542 00:20:46,630 --> 00:20:49,431 [humming "Tarantella Napoletana"] 543 00:20:49,500 --> 00:20:50,499 [playing "Tarantella Napoletana"] 544 00:20:50,567 --> 00:20:54,035 Oh, bravo, bravo. 545 00:20:54,104 --> 00:21:01,109 546 00:21:06,250 --> 00:21:07,915 [camera shutter clicks] 547 00:21:07,916 --> 00:21:08,798 Beautiful 548 00:21:09,974 --> 00:21:11,733 Beautiful. 549 00:21:13,565 --> 00:21:15,431 Beautiful. 550 00:21:16,743 --> 00:21:18,263 Beautiful. 551 00:21:19,343 --> 00:21:20,388 Beautiful. 552 00:21:22,529 --> 00:21:25,852 Ohh. Oh, you're beautiful. 553 00:21:26,191 --> 00:21:28,500 Sync and corrections by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com 554 00:21:28,550 --> 00:21:33,100 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0